Call Day

Since I work in a branch of medicine known as acute medicine (emergency, intensive care, anaesthetics) and just finish a stint in ICU (intensive care unit) and currently working in ED (emergency department), this is how I feel everyday when I go to work:

And yes i’ve been through all those scenarios in the video..sometimes a daily occurrence 😛

This kind of work makes me appreciate my days off even more. 🙂

Stressed always,


Published in: on May 23, 2011 at 9:55 pm  Leave a Comment  

Have A Drink On Me

The horror! The horror!

I think I’m lactose intolerant.

I admit, I’m a hypochondriac but this self-diagnosis (prevalent among doctors) seems absolutely true. These past few months, I’ve been getting more bloated with associated nausea, abdo cramps and diarrhoea after drinking my morning coffee – I’ve had this before but I thought it happens so rarely but nowadays it’s every time I drink a cup of coffee..and the horror!!! I mean, I need coffee and I’m still drinking my coffee with milk (I have an odd machiato or espresso once in a while) but usually a skinny latte is the way for me..but howwwwww am I going to survive with no milk in my life?!

*waaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllssssssssssssssssss loudly*

I just realised something: I might have to switch to soy lattes…





goodbye bovine milk 😦

now…what do I do with the 3 litres of milk I have in the fridge?


Published in: on February 3, 2011 at 7:29 pm  Comments (2)  

I Don’t Need Anything But You

Together at last, together forever
We’re tying a know that never can sever
I don’t need sunshine now to turn my skies to blue
I don’t need anything but you  – Annie

Today’s choir session almost broke my heart.

There I was, guiding the children’s choir through the famous Annie song. Then this kid (let’s call him Tiny Tim… you know, like the one from Scrooge?) burst into tears. Not the screwed-over-by-mom tears or the I’m-frustrated-I-can’t-get-it-right tears. This was something else.

Getting my assistant to take over, I guided the 12 year-old out of class to figure him out. In my mind, I was thumbing through the possibilities as well as their treatments… the probabilities are endless! Oh dear, don’t tell me he’s really upset about the death of his pet. I read it on his Facebook notification yesterday… and there was a sad emoticon attached. Firstly, I don’t understand how/why kids are so into Facebook… however, I’m thankful I saw it as it helped prepped the troubleshooting options in my mind then. Secondly, this is one of the few cases where children’s emoticons should be heavily considered and taken with a lot of weight. God forbid, the human form of expression has evolved to a handful of flipped symbols.

So I sat a sobbing Tiny Tim down and prompted him to speak his heart out. And I guessed right as he explained between heavy sobs how his pet of 2 years just stopped breathing. He talked about being helpless and clueless on how to revive it… about dealing with a little burial outside his home… about being confused at his current state of mourning… about confiding in his mom.

This kid had liquid pain streaming down his cheeks. It was heartbreaking to watch. As much as he gets on my nerves the odd occasion, my heart just went out to him and I had to fight back tears. I shared with him about the loss of my loved one and how death just makes us appreciate life even more… and that people who go through such tough times end up stronger… and that he was very brave to share his experience with me… and I thanked him. More importantly, I told him that it was OK to cry… even for a boy. He told me the song we were singing in the choir made him very emotional.

For a street smart, quick witted and smart-mouthed kid to wear his heart on his sleeve like that… I’m thinking he’s going to make a very good stage performer. On the flip side, I wish there was some power in me to protect children from experiencing such a raw emotion… I keep telling myself they’re not ready for this, children are supposed to be happy. But I guess some people learn life’s lessons earlier than others.

Since Tiny Tim requested for some alone time before rejoining the group, I had another colleague keep him company. Of course, the other children were concerned. I quietly explained the situation and reminded them to be supportive of a friend in need… which prompted a couple of testimonies from the choir on pet death. Tiny Tim rejoined within the hour and was seen being the hyperactive and silly class clown again… and I marvel at his recovery rate.

If only I could mirror that.

Coming soon…

…an introspective view of The Musician’s grueling 2009 & 2010.

This includes, but not limited to, various forms of discrimination, hypocrisy, courage under fire, triumphs, and firsts.

Stay tuned… while I try to migrate my work from my old MacBook (Ben, named after Britten) to my new MacBook Air (Kate, named after Moss… for purely simplistically aesthetic reasons)

Update from the Bush


It’s been 3 months since I’ve started work and life hasn’t the same since.

Working is definitely harder than studying – the responsibility that you carry is sometimes just so enormous and you keep thinking “this person’s life is in myhands” and it can overwhelm you. It has overwhelm me many times – and in those times, I tell myself to breath and swallow my panic quickly because patients know when you panic. Acting and looking confident is important in this field.

So i’m currently in a rural hospital for 10 weeks – rural Australia is probably not as bad as some might imagine it to be – yes, there are rolling fields around me with back & white cows grazing lazily in them but no, I don’t work in a shabby tin hospital with no beds and no water and no electricity. It’s a pretty small hospital –  we all know each other so well that we probably know what each ate for dinner last night – but we’re just too polite to point out that the rice was under-cook. The town is small itself – it’s hard not to go out for dinner with friends and find your patients sitting next to you/ serving you/ taking your order. What else to do but smile and ask how are they doing.

My form of entertainment after work is the idiot box. I can feel my IQ slowly draining away as I watch anything and everything on TV. And when you watch tv, you tend to eat – so thats what I’ve been doing, watching and eating. Now, I’m trying to find a new hobby – online shopping. Surprisingly I can’t seem to find anything nice that I want to buy. I like going to shops to shop! I like the fact I can try on a piece of clothing, swing a bag on my shoulder or tottle in heels around the store. Internet shopping feels blergh but oh so convenient!

Anyway, tomorrow is Friday…yeay!

Published in: on March 13, 2008 at 6:11 am  Leave a Comment  

Life after a student – if there is any..*snort*

This blog needs an update and who better to do it then someone who’s been working 10 hour shifts for the past 4 days from 2pm – 12 midnight?

Hehe..anyway, I digress (or however you spell it).

I have actually FINISHED med no kidding..goodbye “Hello, I’m Bariah..I’m a medical student, is it okay if I have a chat with you on why you’re in the hospital” and hello “I’m Bariah..I’m one of the doctors who’ll be looking after you today. How may I help you?” a doctor?? It just seems so surreal!!

Graduation day was fun fun fun fun fun..from the parts that I can know sometimes you might have the day of you life and it just passes you by so quickly and all you can remember is a feeling? Thats how graduation day was for me – it was hot(40 degrees Celsius) and sweaty (thick robe, stuffy cap, lots of people stuffed into a hall) and smiley (ppl taking pics with you, flowers, presents, kisses, hugs, thank yous)..

and before you know’re at the bottom of the food-chain..again.

There I was – the almighty finalyear med student (all you other meddies, bow to us!!!) and before I knew it, I am now an intern working (working!!!!!*hyperventilates*) in a pretty busy emergency department.

For those who loves medical tv shows and am thinking of a career in medicine because of it: life as a doctor is NOTlike grey’s anatomy (my bosses aren’t that hot) or house (I wish we had that much money to waste on all those fancy tests) or ER (not that dramatic..but since I’m currently working in the ED, I do get quite a rush of adrenaline running around trying to see several patients at the same time) or even scrubs (if only my life is as funny as theirs).

1st week of work is always traumatising– I nearly passed out on the first day of work. Not to mention my 1st patient yells at everything – try sticking a needle into her. I’ve never heard such colourful language from an 80 year old. 2nd day was a bit eventful – my bosses somehow thought I had good input (which is funny) but unfortunately I couldn’t sleep that night which made my 3rd day bad– the staff thought I was slow..hey, the last time I stitched up a person’s large bleeding gash on the head was…never okay. I only left the hospital at 1.30a.m. The good thing about 3rd day was there was quite a few emergency emergencies and I’ve -thank god- managed to find a vein and stick a huge-ass needle in their arm. It’s hard enough ppl telling you you’re slow but then ppl yelling “it’s an emergency..get to it!!!!”. 4th day was okay..a bit more confidence in sticking needles -though we all have our hits and misses- but I just realised you can go far with a smile and ‘pleases & thank yous’. Patients are definitely nicer with me, and staff seems to be quite pleasant as well. Good manners does is definitely a good thing to practice!!

As you can see: I have no life. It’s hard to have one when you’re spending nearly half the day working and the other half sleeping to prepare you for work.

I can say goodbye to my so-called social life (if I ever had one in the first place..*snort*). 

If there is such a thing as a ‘mail-ordered bridegroom’ (well, maybe there is!), then that is definitely for me.

Published in: on January 18, 2008 at 2:45 am  Comments (2) far

Poor website – looks like we’ve been ignoring you for a long time..okay we (esp. I) will try to update you as much as I can (for more frequent updates check out my other site at

Anyway, I’ve started my final year of med school. Wow, final year. When I first started med school, final year seems eons waaayyy too long to even consider about. And now here I am *hyperventilates*. What’s worse, I feel like I still know nothing (just like when I was starting med school)..people tell me I know more, but I don’t doesn’t seem like it!

 I’m doing my emergency rotation currently and though it has it’s ups and downs, it’s actually not to bad – the people here are lovely and they try their damnest to help you out (if you’re stuck!). I might be slow at most things, I actually am not to bad at doing work – I can be pretty quick if I want to!.

I’ll be doing my surgical rotation next and that would be fun. My anatomy isn’t the strongest (not strong at all) and my memory is definitely failing so a surgical rotation would be good to give my poor brain a high voltage jolt to try and remember stuff!

Spending 10 hours in the hospital everyday is tiring. I soneed a holiday. Too bad it’s still a long way off till my hols come – until it does – I’m having fun making up plans and itinerary of where I want to go!

Anyway, that’s my 2007 update..mwah!

 Bariah (a.k.a the old med fart)

Published in: on February 23, 2007 at 8:45 am  Leave a Comment  

Just a reminder:

If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.

So, be careful !!

(I just thought Les Trois needed an update!)

.:.Meddie That Lives In Her Own Made-Up-By-Her-Brain World.:.

Published in: on August 27, 2006 at 1:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

Giggle Reflex

A psychiatry textbook is one of the most boring book a person could ever read. Like, no kidding! A text of nearly 1000 pages with size 7/12 font is not a pleasant experience. Why can’t they make it as interesting as the paediatric textbook with lots of pictures, colours and user-friendly?

I don’t think I would be a good psychiatrist. I have a condition call “giggle reflex”. I laugh at everything including myself. I laugh at the clouds, the stones on the road, when i walk into a wall, when a stranger walks into a wall, when i choke and splutter in the water, when I’m supposed to be serious, when I mix up dance moves, when I don’t understand something, when I’m nervous, when I’m embarrassed..I laugh at anything and everything! And everyone knows being a psychiatrist is all about being able to keep a straight face when the patient tells his tale of being chased by aliens at the cereal aisle in Coles. If it was me asking the patient questions, I would be rolling around on the floor hysterical (they might lock me up in the ward!).

General Practice is another strange experience. After not doing adult medicine for nearly 1/2 a year, being thrown into general practice is a drowning (pun not intended) feeling. My GP doctor is fantastic – she gave me my own room to see patients (and yes, I got to sit in that oh-so-comfortable leather doctor’s chair with my own computer and my own examination table) and I did several injections (after doing lots on artificial skin -the last time I did injections was 2 years ago, mind you- doing a few on real skin feels funny) while doing house visits (imagine me with the black doctor’s bag…scary!!). It was a good day in GP-land.

.:. студент-медика .:.

Published in: on July 19, 2006 at 11:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

Scary Scary Scary

The psychiatry ward is scary.

It’s located in front of the main hospital building, isolated from the other normal wards. The corridor is lined with glass windows (maybe to give the outside world a better view of the path to madness) and no matter what time of the day you’re there, it always look dark, it always look like gloomy and there’s never anyone around except for you.

The doors to the main psychiatry ward is locked. As students, we don’t get access and if we want to go in, we’d have to buzz the nurses to get us in. Since it’s our first day of psych, we aren’t seeing any patients. The doctor said we won’t be seeing any until after week 3 and by the looks of everyone, we aren’t very keen about doing that.

The elevator up is scary. The stairways (makes me want to finish that sentence with “to hell” know, like the AC/DC song) is scary. In fact the whole place is scary. The lift is small, yellow lights and…small..the stairways is dark, narrow and ..eerie. Most of the stairways at the hospital is eerie but other parts of the hospital, you’ll meet someone else going up and down. In this part, it’s just you and your own footsteps echoing behind you.

You know the movie Ghotika? Don’t watch it if you’re planning a career in psychiatry. It’s going to haunt you for a long, long time.

Published in: on July 13, 2006 at 12:22 pm  Leave a Comment