Stuck In The Middle

I would like to whinge.

When I was in school, I whinged a lot – I complained about exams, tuition classes, uniforms, exams, lack of money, uniforms, regimental parents, exams, know the whole I-hate-school cry. I could not wait to be in college/ university!

When I was in uni, I whinged even more – I whinged about my lack of concentration, non-stop lectures from who-teaches-bloody-pathology-at-7.30a.m classes, dissecting cadavers, noisy dorm parties, lack of money, exams, nothing-to-wear-to-class-and-how-I-wished-I-had-uniforms, friends or lack of, money, exams, tutorials, parties – everything! I wanted to start working ASAP.

Then I started work – and my whinging was becoming critical. I cried about shitty working hours (6.30a.m until 10.30pm everyday??!!), little pay, lots of debts (read: lots of designer shoes), car, lack of car, housemates (love ’em or hate ’em but can’t live without ’em), money, nothing to wear to work, how I wish I was doing something else, lack of social life, going out every night and coming back super late in the morning and then working again at 6.30am, more debts, how i love/hate my job, i love/hate my boss. I wished I was back in school!!!

One day, you come full cycle and find yourself studying..again.

Of course it’s not technically going back to school but studying is studying (read: annoyingly difficult). It’s more difficult when you’re working – you find yourself at work for 12-14 hours, rushing back home and gulping dinner and then hitting the books (not hitting the bottle unfortunately..though there are some days I wish I could!) trying to cram in as much as informations as your poor saturated brain can take. Whinging? how about phenomenally so – time management, study groups (trying to get a bunch of doctors to meet up for anything -social or academic- is almost or two will either be working/ sleeping from night shift/ family stuff), money issues – college fees, exam fees, union fees, “oh I failed my exam?” 2nd exam fees, textbooks, shrink fees, yada-yada fees. Sleep deprivation – waking up after falling asleep on your “textbook of pharmacology for health professionals” for the millionth time – praying the last chapter you read went into your brain through osmosis, study table full of junk – textbooks, Led Zeppelin CDs, Jack Kerouac, pens, pencils, coffee cups, pills, painkillers, money – lets study on my big king-sized bed: sleeping space 1/10th, studying space 99% of bed littered with pens, pencils, glue, eraser, textbooks, paper everywhere; coffee/saliva/blood/pen ink stain on your physiology textbook, anger issues, I’ve-gain-x-amount-of-weight-from-eating-while-studying shrieks, weddings, break-ups, shitty working hours, jaded view of the world, the whole caboodle.

*exhale slowly*

Life’s great!!!!

I will now go spend some time with beloved textbook.

Trying to study on bed (study desk has too much junk) with textbook & cat


Published in: on January 5, 2011 at 8:50 pm  Comments (5)  

Coming soon…

…an introspective view of The Musician’s grueling 2009 & 2010.

This includes, but not limited to, various forms of discrimination, hypocrisy, courage under fire, triumphs, and firsts.

Stay tuned… while I try to migrate my work from my old MacBook (Ben, named after Britten) to my new MacBook Air (Kate, named after Moss… for purely simplistically aesthetic reasons)

‘Being single’ Discrimination!

Sometimes I don’t understand people.

I love my girlfriends..I so do. But I don’t love it when they decide to leave their friends high and dry for their bf. I’m sorry for being single, I’m sorry for not having a significant somebody to spend more time with and I’m sorry if I go all out to meet up with them when their bf’s gone out with ‘the boys’ or gone out hunting for the weekend and they so need a friend ..but when I need to talk to them on the phone for something important to me, they can’t answer the phone because they’re too busy with their significant other.

Single bashing, I tell you.

Published in: on August 15, 2008 at 11:28 am  Leave a Comment  

There is more to working life than just seeing patients, ordering investigations and managing them as well as we can.

There’s office politics, there are backstabbing “colleagues“, there are bitchy co-workers and just unsupporting bosses around you. I don’t know about you but, I wasn’t taught these things in uni!! You hear about ppl who step on others to make themselves look good in school but at work, it’s just petty and so not nice of that person!!!

Why can’t we just be nice to each another?

Published in: on March 27, 2008 at 4:41 am  Leave a Comment  

My Turn

This blog is the brainchild of three then university students studying their individual passions of medicine and music. This blog is meant to be an outlet between friends with a similar stress level – just different passionate reasons.

The silence on this blog is a testament to the busy lives we lead chasing our dreams in real-time, dealing with consequences, and wondering sometimes why we chose to entertain our passion.

Especially on days like today.

Approximately fifteen minutes ago, I gave my student a verbal lashing.

(Oh, by the way I work full time now)

Yesterday she asked if her alto group could clock in earlier for sectionals before the rest of the choir turned up. That means an earlier morning for me. Now, a regular Tuesday doesn’t require me to start work til 11am to recover from a 14 hour teaching schedule the day before.

So I woke up this morning – the grandest time of 6.30am. And debated with myself. Is it worth the lack of sleep? I don’t have to do it if I didn’t want to. But I shouldn’t say no to a bunch of students who were willing to make the collective effort to improve.

Battled the early morning jam. Opened the doors of the academy. Waited.

70% of the group showed up at their stipulated time. Doing nothing. No thing. Head honcho showed up half an hour late. She went to pick up a fellow chorister whom she failed to inform of the earlier time. Failed to inform, ladies and gentlemen.

And that was why I let her have it.

Because it pisses me off when students take my kindness for granted and leaders do not take responsibility.

So now I sit here, venting. While the whole choir rehearses out in the main area. They need to learn a lesson in taking charge and running independent rehearsals. I am their choir coach and technically, I paid for the rental of this rehearsal venue, not them. So I call the shots.

If they do not appreciate my supporting them, I will take my passion elsewhere once the whole choir competitions are over.

I wish I were by the beach sipping a latte while snacking on calamari rings and chips.

Published in: on March 11, 2008 at 1:53 am  Leave a Comment